Resolutions!

So many people make New Years resolutions. It's a time to wipe the slate clean and start fresh! I've never been one for making resolutions. Partly because anytime in my life I've made goals or promised to myself I don't follow through with them.
In August when I took my workouts into the gym I was opened up to the world of SPIN. I have to admit the idea of music pumping like you're in a disco club was appealing to me. I had so much fear and hesitation about taking this step. Fear of failure, would if I couldn't hack it? Would if I looked funny and people would stare at me, or talk about me?
After much encouragement from my friend Tracy I reluctantly tried my first class. She carefully selected an instructor she thought would motivate and inspire me through to the end of the class.
Getting through the class was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. My feet, hands and butt were numb within fifteen minutes of cycling. The pain that I endured both during that class and for the next week was incredible. It was downright discouraging. I tried two more times and ended up walking out of the class 15 minutes into the workout.
Just like a resolution, I was giving up! In a sense, even though I felt like I was successful at my latest attempt to becoming healthy I felt defeated. For the past few months I've had this nagging voice in my head...SPIN CLASS....do it! Not to mention my husband Tom has been doing SPIN weekly and loving it!
This morning Tom and I headed to the gym, he asked me in the parking lot "Why don't you come into the SPIN class with me today" and I said "Okay".....wait a minute, did you just agree to this? Immediately regretting my answer, but knowing I had nothing to lose. I went into the class with the mindset of if I only make it half way through it's better than nothing. I was already selling myself short. BUT the determination that has been driving me to succeed all this time shined through....not only did I complete the class it FELT GREAT!
One of the most inspiring parts of this SPIN class is the instructor Michele Sorbello. She started her journey almost 3 years ago and shed 260lbs!! Now, she's an instructor with the reputation of being one of the toughest at our gym!! She TRULY is inspiring!! So, the next time you're fearful of trying something new, think of me on that SPIN bike and get up and TRY again!! You can do it.

Happy New Year! The Switch!

It's so exciting for me to think about what the New Year has in store. I'm not sure that I've ever had this much hope for a New Year. Mostly because I've never felt this good physically or mentally. It's amazing what a simple thing like exercise can do to change your entire lookout on life.

I went from detesting any type of movement, to craving it. I use to be the master at finding the easy way to do things. You know, the path of least resistance. Why did I sell myself short? The further I sank into the dark and deep hole of self destruction the more I did to destroy myself. The more my friends and family tried to help me the quicker I ran in the opposite direction.

I recently found a quote in a book I was reading "The key to long-term weight loss are planning and consistency". One of my favorite words that describes my success throughout this journey is "Intentional". When I read this quote today it resignated with me about being "intentional". If you think that eating healthy and exercising daily will just happen without being intentional and planning you are sadly mistaken. It takes organization, planning, discipline and thought to make sure that everything YOU need to be successful is at your fingertips.

One of the things my friend Tracy said to me at the beginning of this journey was "if you're exercising daily and see how long it takes to burn a simple 100 calories it will make you think twice about putting something in your mouth that is high in calories". So, true! Something in my mind has finally made the SWITCH. Almost like a switch plate on the wall. I finally got it!

I learned 4 years ago from a Psychiatrist who specializes in patients with food disorders that I had an all or nothing personality when it came to dieting. I was either on plan or completely off plan. I'm sure you can relate with this way of thinking. I would often fall into the trap of setting unrealistic goals, or would deprive myself of all of the foods I loved for so long that when I finally ate it I would let it snowball into a week, month or year long guilt trip of eating unhealthy. I now feel such balance.

I do feel that regular exercise is the key to such balance. The feeling you get after a workout is exhilarating. There seems to be so much clarity from all of that oxygen flowing about. Not to mention all of the extra energy I have. It didn't happen overnight, this was a gradual change in my thought process. Baby steps are okay. You can't change everything in one day. You are destined for failure if that's your attitude. But also, being consistent.

As 2011 comes to a close

As 2011 comes to a close I have so much to reflect upon. The turning point for me happened on the beach in Ocean City this summer. My husband Tom and I spent a lot of time in Ocean City this summer, more than in years past. We were sitting on beach early in the morning watching the surfers navigate the waves as they approached the shoreline. We were having one of our typical long conversations about life. It's such a simple word ... "Life" and everyone has it. Or do you really?

I seemed to have everything together (on the outside) a great marriage, a beautiful home, loving family and friends, a church family, a job that is fulfilling. But did I have a great life? Was I making the most of this life that God had given me? No! I was crumbling apart on the inside.
I woke up everyday with aches and pains in every part of my body imaginable. I couldn't live without Extra Strength Tylenol, on a daily basis. Heck, we had to buy Costco sized bottles of it to keep up with my habit.

I knew that I needed to do something drastic to make the changes that I needed to be healthy. To have a "Life"! But I had already done something drastic! In 2007 I had a gastric band installed in my stomach to assist with portion control. Prior to that I had joined, re-joined, quit and started Weight Watchers. I had done Jenny Craig, Hypnosis & even tried a Teen Weight Loss Support Group as teenager. I felt like such a failure; how could it be that I've tried every diet known including bariatric surgery and failed? I had supportive friends, family and a husband. Everyone surrounding me wanted me to succeed. But, did I?

As we sat there on the beach watching the seagulls dance with the shoreline a thought occurred to me. What haven't I done? The mental checklist of what I had tried and failed started coming together when I realized that the key to success for me would be going at this differently. I needed to try something that I had never done before. GET ACTIVE!

It didn't take long for me to reach out to my friends, I actually made a post right there from my sand chair on Facebook. "I'm looking to hire a personal trainer, does anyone know someone who is affordable and lives in the South Jersey area"? Within minutes I had replies, and my dear friend Lisa suggested a trainer she knew from her job at the gym. Within a few days we were sitting face to face at my kitchen table. We put together a plan, she set her boundaries and let me know exactly what she expected from me. It seemed like such a commitment, such a tall order, would this be another colossal failure? My head was filled with self doubt and fear, but I knew I had to take the first step. Heck, just calling her was a giant step riddled with fear.

My first workout. I was determined to do everything she asked of me. & I did. I kept saying to myself, you can do anything for 45 minutes! It's true, even though you feel like giving up and that you can't make it another step, or second longer, you can. I remember walking to my car after I was done and feeling so accomplished and naucious. I didn't have much time to rejoice in my accomplishment because the feeling of being light-headed & naucious were overwhelming. I made my way home and drug myself into the house and plopped myself down on the couch. Barely making it up the three steps leading from our garage into the house. It took me almost 2 hours to recover from that workout. The point is, I did!

I decided to set mini-goals for myself along this journey. I feel it's more rewarding and motivating to reach small goals...rather than setting a long distance goal that will take years to reach. My journey began the last week of July. I set my first goal to lose 40lbs by November 1st. I did it! My second goal was to lose 55lbs by January 1st and I happy to report that as of this morning my weight loss total is 59lbs. I not only met that goal but exceeded it.

This blog is a way for me to share my journey, including my workouts, weight loss updates and recipe ideas. I hope you enjoy.