As 2011 comes to a close

As 2011 comes to a close I have so much to reflect upon. The turning point for me happened on the beach in Ocean City this summer. My husband Tom and I spent a lot of time in Ocean City this summer, more than in years past. We were sitting on beach early in the morning watching the surfers navigate the waves as they approached the shoreline. We were having one of our typical long conversations about life. It's such a simple word ... "Life" and everyone has it. Or do you really?

I seemed to have everything together (on the outside) a great marriage, a beautiful home, loving family and friends, a church family, a job that is fulfilling. But did I have a great life? Was I making the most of this life that God had given me? No! I was crumbling apart on the inside.
I woke up everyday with aches and pains in every part of my body imaginable. I couldn't live without Extra Strength Tylenol, on a daily basis. Heck, we had to buy Costco sized bottles of it to keep up with my habit.

I knew that I needed to do something drastic to make the changes that I needed to be healthy. To have a "Life"! But I had already done something drastic! In 2007 I had a gastric band installed in my stomach to assist with portion control. Prior to that I had joined, re-joined, quit and started Weight Watchers. I had done Jenny Craig, Hypnosis & even tried a Teen Weight Loss Support Group as teenager. I felt like such a failure; how could it be that I've tried every diet known including bariatric surgery and failed? I had supportive friends, family and a husband. Everyone surrounding me wanted me to succeed. But, did I?

As we sat there on the beach watching the seagulls dance with the shoreline a thought occurred to me. What haven't I done? The mental checklist of what I had tried and failed started coming together when I realized that the key to success for me would be going at this differently. I needed to try something that I had never done before. GET ACTIVE!

It didn't take long for me to reach out to my friends, I actually made a post right there from my sand chair on Facebook. "I'm looking to hire a personal trainer, does anyone know someone who is affordable and lives in the South Jersey area"? Within minutes I had replies, and my dear friend Lisa suggested a trainer she knew from her job at the gym. Within a few days we were sitting face to face at my kitchen table. We put together a plan, she set her boundaries and let me know exactly what she expected from me. It seemed like such a commitment, such a tall order, would this be another colossal failure? My head was filled with self doubt and fear, but I knew I had to take the first step. Heck, just calling her was a giant step riddled with fear.

My first workout. I was determined to do everything she asked of me. & I did. I kept saying to myself, you can do anything for 45 minutes! It's true, even though you feel like giving up and that you can't make it another step, or second longer, you can. I remember walking to my car after I was done and feeling so accomplished and naucious. I didn't have much time to rejoice in my accomplishment because the feeling of being light-headed & naucious were overwhelming. I made my way home and drug myself into the house and plopped myself down on the couch. Barely making it up the three steps leading from our garage into the house. It took me almost 2 hours to recover from that workout. The point is, I did!

I decided to set mini-goals for myself along this journey. I feel it's more rewarding and motivating to reach small goals...rather than setting a long distance goal that will take years to reach. My journey began the last week of July. I set my first goal to lose 40lbs by November 1st. I did it! My second goal was to lose 55lbs by January 1st and I happy to report that as of this morning my weight loss total is 59lbs. I not only met that goal but exceeded it.

This blog is a way for me to share my journey, including my workouts, weight loss updates and recipe ideas. I hope you enjoy.